One thing that never fails to make me laugh is the sheer appreciation for the little things. Throughout the past 50 days when sharing the highs and lows of this experience an all too often response has been “well now at least you’ll appreciate what you have”… I appreciated what I had before I came – I didn’t need this experience and the buckets of tears and wrestles nights to make me realize how blessed I am… but never did I think using soap that wasn’t diluted down so that it actually bubbles on your hands would make me so happy. Never did I imagine I would ration my instant macaroni and covet my neighbor’s washing machine. My supervisor at Vi has a washing machine at her house and the other night when I was over there I heard this hum that sounded familiar but I couldn’t quite place it… suddenly I recognized… my goodness… she has a washing machine. I have spent the last two weeks begrudgingly scrubbing my clothes in buckets in the burning sun fantasizing about my return home and my nice big washing machine.
I believe I have a new addiction – perhaps not believe, but know I have a new addiction. Honey. This past weekend the FSD team went away and stayed at these little cottages (photos below). For breakfast they served us pancakes… pancakes – what a glorious day it was… anyhow – they served them with honey and since that day I can’t get the taste out of my mouth. It’s really quite strange and I feel funny but I’ll be sitting at work and find myself day dreaming about returning home to dash in my room and tear open the jar of honey. Yesterday I made myself a peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich for lunch. I figured while I was making it, though breakfast was prepared I would help myself to ½ a sandwich to go with my eggs and fruit. Departing the house with my sammy in hand for lunch I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The sweet taste and the crunchy texture that occurs as the honey dries on the bread reminds me of Crème Brule. I don’t think I was at work more than two hours and I tore the lid off the container and dove in, devouring ever last crumb of the dry bread and gooey sweetness. Returning home I found myself rushing to my room to pour some out on a few cookies – I felt like Pooh bear as honey ran down my fingers. Houston we have a problem!
On Tuesday training begins for my Seeds for Change project and I’m quite excited. I have been working on my budget for two days and have found a way to make it work. Each group member needs to pay 5,000 shillings as their monetary contribution. Granted this comes out to about $2.50 but here it’s a rather hefty contribution. The reason for assessing the group members a small fee is to help insure their commitment and sense of ownership in the training and materials…and stays in line with my distain for mere hand outs. I do not simply want to provide the group with training, but with the tools necessary to implement the training to further solidify the teachings. In my opinion, nothing is worse than sitting there for hours listening to a training of some sort then getting sent home with no way to apply it and next thing you know the knowledge has slipped away. With my seed grant from FSD I will have enough money to purchase 12 different types of vegetable seeds and mango, avocado, passion fruit and lemon seedlings (already sprouted fruit trees) for the group. Prior to departing Boston, a number of people extended their generosity by loading me up with gobs and gobs of school and education supplies for the kids here, while others offered money for me to purchase needed items with after accessing the needs. The school supplies have been distributed to 5 different organizations and when Adam comes, I’ll divide up the half of the donations I couldn’t carry as the donation bag already exceeded 70lbs and distribute those as well. With the money people contributed I am going to purchase supplies and provide each member of the group tools for their land. Thanks to the monetary donations of a handful of people, there is enough money to purchase a hoe, rake, shovel, slasher (a blade used to cut the grass or weeds), watering can, razor blades for grafting the trees and the plastic bags necessary for planting the seeds. Additionally, for the group the money will purchase 5 wheelbarrows, pesticide and a pesticide sprayer. The cost to supply the group with these tools is 407,950 shillings or $203.98... or $8.16 a person. I absolutely cannot wait to give the group your gifts so THANK YOU!
This Seeds for Change project will not only provide the parents with life skills, but the children as well. Education here in Uganda is a costly venture and even with a good education they may never find work, but if they can learn how to grow food, build things, and take care of each other they will always be able to provide for themselves. Of course my earnest hope is they are successful, but this training will trickle down to them and ensure they are well rounded and equipped for employment and tending to their land.
As for my thesis, I finally came to a starting idea which is a good thing considering I only have 37 days left in country. Pending approval from my advisor I believe I will write on the importance of training individuals on methods to better their lives opposed to merely dolling out aid. Foreign aid is something I have always been interested in and have done prior research on. I can do a literature review on distributing foreign aid vs. training individuals and comparing their efficacy. For my empirical research I can do a case study with my group and use their prior training and the Seeds for Change project. We will see how it goes but there is a possibility my remaining days in country will be extremely busy, working the days in the field on my project and writing my 50-100 page thesis at night – should at least make the days pass quickly.
This past Wednesday I participated in my first step class ever. That’s right… seven Mzungus with their aerobic steps in hand charged a local café and took over. Can you imagine the look on the locals’ faces to walk into the café and see a step DVD projected on the wall and 7 of us stumbling over our blocks and sweating profusely? The experience was surely YouTube worthy, if not to highlight our athletic ability then to show off our fashion as we bounced around in our hiking shoes, sandals, cargo pants and shirts…note to self, bring exercise clothes to Africa next time just in case.
The roller coaster of emotions I have frequently referenced has stayed the course, twisting and turning, throwing me forward and pressing me back. At times I must confess I feel quite inadequate, wondering what on earth I’m doing here. Last week my eyes busted open a raging sea of tears. At the time, I had here 45 days and felt like I had not accomplished or learned anything of substance; very overwhelming, frustrating and confusing situation. I am out of my league in most circumstances and perhaps that is the best place to be. Perhaps we learn best, work our hardest, observe and listen when everything is unfamiliar… because when it is not, we move forward in routine, knowing what we need in order to get through the day. What if our eyes are closed to the great potential possible with our lives because we are sitting in our comfortable chair, eating our tasty food and finding our best thoughts occur as the hot water streams down our bodies in the shower?
More and more lately I am wrestling with the point of aid work which is a HUGE dilemma for me since now I feel my entire career focus is at a crux. Daily I speak with people and tell them tiny little things that can easily improve their life, like eating tablespoon after tablespoon of salt is not healthy and instead of embracing that information I hear “Well this is how we have been raised” as if that justifies the behavior. Or when talking to women whose husbands beat and cheat on them as they try to convince me Adam can’t be as good as I say because their men are so far from… I don’t understand why there has not been a woman’s movement of some sort. Men joke and unashamedly talk about all their affairs, and their justification, “This is Africa”. Sigh, this is Africa seems to be the response to a number of my questions.
I received another note from Annette last night. I feared it was another tear jerking plea that I become her sponsor; pay her school fees and rush to aid her younger orphan siblings. This note however was begging me to ask around to see if anyone had a job for her. She pleaded to find employment so she could pay her own school fees and earn an income so she could send money to her younger brother and sister. I could not imagine what it must be like for a 16 year old to bear such pressure, to try so hard to find a solution to a not so simple problem. I must figure out my role in this, if I have one and how much intervention is appropriate. One thing which remains ever present is that I not be reckless in my actions and respond out of emotion without evaluating possible long term ramifications.
Last night conversing with Ruth, I brought up the fact I am confused with the treatment women endure from men. She said women are in a difficult spot because more women work at home while the men works out, meeting friends, networking with people. I stated how I found it very unusual that Africa has had a number of women presidents, while the US never has and women remain so oppressed here. Ruth brought it back to a money issue and the fact men control the parliament so when women’s rights bills come up they simply delay acting on them. She said for a woman to live in peace is to die quietly. The notion is a very difficult concept for me to embrace.
I did not come to change people, their way of life, or impart any “great wisdom”, I made that mistake once before when I went to Sierra Leone with all the ideas and thoughts of what I would do… this time my intention was to come and learn and see firsthand because how can change ever occur from reading biased information or the accounts of someone’s experience. I had to come for myself, to give it my all. I spent the weekend plagued with discovering my intentions – did I come here to build my career or learn directly what challenges people face to determine ways I can be better informed and make change? In the end, I came for the latter. If my career never goes the way I thought it would there has to be something redeeming in this experience, and there will be, regardless of whether or not I ever see the fruits of the labor. I came to find those who want help to help themselves. Not aid, but knowledge and information.
From sex trafficking to reproductive health to studying health systems and now gardening, I guess I am still doing some good, learning and working on improving health.
Perhaps it's a lofty thought, but what if this project decreases parental ignorance and confines which seem to perpetuate poverty and malnutrition. For generations to come, the kids and their kids and so on will increase in health and nutritious eating because their parents were trained and provided with the Seeds for Change.
Lake Nabogabu
A few members of the group I will be working with. Grace is in the White and Blue dress
Sorry, I had to put another one of Herbert up - he's so cute!
In the back of a truck, full of produce, holding on tight so as to not fly out with all the bumps
On Tuesday May 26th, I arrived at Grace’s house (Grace is the chair person for the group) and was greeted by 16 individuals ready and eager to learn about fruit tree grafting. The training was a joy to watch. The group broke into smaller groups and were given fruit trees to practice grafting after the demonstration. The trees were then labeled “team 1”, “team 2”, three and four. We are going to have a competition to see whose tree is successfully living at the end of June.
